Recently (actually about a month ago) I was speaking to another "Aramco" wife...and she stated something like the following, "these single girls think that we're all Stepford Wives". This is a loose quote, as these are probably not the exact words, but close enough. The label "Stepford Wife" (based on the novel, circa 1972, by Ira Levin) is usually applied to a woman who seems to conform blindly to an old-fashioned subservient role in relationship to her husband, compared to other, presumably more independent and vivacious women. Since I heard this, I had to let it marinate. I mean really...was I a Stepford Wife? At first I was like, "hell no!!" because I don't blindly conform to anything, and I accept no one as an authority over me. Besides...I talk way too much shit to be a Stepford Wife. =) But...then on the other hand...since I've been in SA, my life does revolve more around my husband. And, it did take some transitioning into since I'm an independent, vivacious woman, who is used to having a job, and her own money. However, what is wrong with making sure I'm not looking all tired when my husband comes home from work, or creating a nice home environment, or having a meal ready? Hell, he's been the one out there all day dealing with BS (and regardless of the job, I know every job has its BS, and people issues).
In fact, I think some (not all but some) of these single ladies need to take a lesson. Being independent and making your own money is good. Equal pay for equal work, I'm all for it. But, thinking you don't have to do for your man, is a huge mistake. Women need to be women, and embrace those unique abilities, and men need to be men, and harness those unique characteristics. And, we need to respect each other for them. I think that is a lot of what is wrong with relationships now. Men and women do not know how to relate to each other. So...you better learn how to take care of your man, or you may be without one. And, please make sure he's a real man. That means, he has the means and the desire to take care of you and your children, before you marry his ass.
So...after much marination, LOL, I've decided that if they want to think I'm a Stepford Wife, that's okay.
BTW: The 1975 movie version of this book was actually pretty good. The remake with Nicole Kidman...not so much.
Later
8 comments:
I'm single but I definitely believe in everything you have said re looking after your man or you may be without one. I think gone are the days of women trying to be superwomen. Nice post lady :D
PS I never though of the married wives and particularly you as a 'Stepford Wife"
Hello Raw Girl!! Thanks for stopping in. I had to smile at your comment...
Hi there,
How're Terri, I hope you're enjoying Saudi!
I run into your video in YouTube.
I'm from Saudi,capital Riyadh, I want to say that you're welcome and I hope all the best for you and your family.
About your article, you have a very interesting ideas and I love them. Also I want to add that it's very wonderful to have both sides. A good wife and a successful career.
Best,
Ibtihal
Hello Ibtihal...thanks for the warm welcome, best wishes, and for stopping by my blog.
BTW: I'm working on a new video and hope to post it this week. It's ben 8 months since the last one...I didn't realize that until I went to my YouTube channel.
Take Care!!
T
Hay BCIS,
As a man and as a Saudi man with a working wife, I would defiantly agree with you. We all have our responsibilities towards our partners. Meeting these responsibilities is important for maintaining a healthy marriage. Putting labels on it dose not change our realities.
At the end of the day if you are happy in you marriage life and in the role you play in it then what dose it matter what others think.
Hello Hell Freak. I agree with you. I don't care what other people think about my marriage (otherwise we'd have real problems being an interracial couple), but the comment had me thinking 3 days later on the very topic, "was I a stepford wife". Moving to SA has been a transition on many levels, and one was finding value in being a housewife, something I would probably never have experienced had I stayed in the US. I had to find value in what I was doing, and not feel useless. And, there were many days in which I felt useless. Thank goodness I have a great husband, who would pick on when I was feeling this and he would tell me, that he appreciates what I'm doing, etc.
Please don't end your blog. I'm a Black Chick contemplating moving to KSA with my husband and child. I'm currently the breadwinner and the change would be different,exhilarating, and scary. I jumped for joy when I found your blog. Maybe we will meet soon.
Hello All or Nothing. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I won't completely take it off line until I leave Saudi. However, i will not be writing in it as frequently.
I wish you the best with your move.
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