OK - So It Isn't That Bad

Ok...so after a brief hiatus I'm back to my blog.  I'm in Seattle, while Roland is training in Dallas.   I must admit...it's kinda boring.  With the exception of one friend, all my friends are at work.  That gave me a lot of time to think, and read, and think, and think.  I was asked by 2 people, "is it really that bad"?   I thought about that question for a decent amount of time.  And, I've determined, no, it isn't that bad, and, the longer I've been here in Seattle, the more I'm feeling that, "it wasn't that bad".  Besides a few personal hiccups in adjusting to situations and how things are done...it wasn't that bad.  Some of the things I thought I missed I didn't.   What I did miss were my friends.  I've rediscovered my female support system of real friends who where there for me and listened while I whined over a glass of wine.  It's so important to have that, yet when you're the trailing spouse, it appears that people don't take notice that you've undergone a major stressor and that being a newbie...you don't have that female support system of friends you can trust, to help pull you up, when people want to bring you down, or you're just feeling down and missing home. 

I thought I missed daytime television (I don't know why since I worked during the day, but when I stayed home I watched it).  So, I'm home during the day with daytime television.  Television I thought I missed, only to come to realize that it was the familiarity I missed...as I have tried to watch these shows since I've been back (and I've been back in the states for 12 days now), and I'm not really interested.  So...I've found a few things that I miss about being in Saudi Arabia; (1) the $5.00US Fill up.  It just cost me $38US to fill up my Pathfinder, (2) they make the construction trucks and 18 wheelers stay in the far right lane; (3) Hummus (which I guess I can get here, but I had my routine of getting it at the Dining Hall, and it's really good there.  I thought I missed Starbucks...then I get back and I've only been to Starbucks once; I've been getting my daily espresso at the Metropolitan Market, and it's perfect.  So...really...even though I only stayed a short time before I left to come back to the states.  I think going back this time is going to be easier, since I will be coming back to a home, and not a bunch of waiting, and processing, etc. etc.  My shipment will have arrived, so my house will be set up with our things.  The attitude shift is, I've gone from, "ok...I'm doing this.  what is  this going to be like?  I already miss my television shows" to "ok...time to go home.  make sure you've purchased all your extra goodies, done sufficient shopping, have Roland bring abaya to airport just in case, and I will be glad to be home, finally, with my husband"

I may be getting towards the end of Act 2 of Culture Shock (a real phenomena).  And, this out of the blue, early return, has kinda help me put things in perspective and has aided me in developing a new attitude (especially when thinking only about what I've lost or given up).  I've learned that yes, I have some inconveniences by living in Saudi and having to depend on other people; but overall it isn't that bad.  And, as with anywhere I've learned that there are some great people out there and I've learned there are some vicious people out there, and this time around to take it slow.  I've had the demo version; I think I'm going to upgrade and take the entire package.

What Is The Deal?

Let me start by 1st stating that, "NOT ALL WESTERNERS/EXPATS ARE LIKE THIS"  and that as I have mentioned on several occasions how I've met "a lot of really nice people" who have quite frankly welcomed me and are helping me with my transition through their communications and company (i.e. hanging out together)  This is my disclaimer since there are some who can't read and comprehend. (LOL)  Now that I have gotten my disclaimer out of the way....I have to ask:  Why is it that if I get any type of comment to any particular post the person who "takes it out of context and gets defensive" is always a westerner/expat? 

I have yet to get that from an Arab/Saudi who responds to either my posts or videos.  In fact:  on my video comments the Saudi/Arab's are always either welcoming, informing, or trying to educate me a little.  But I never get the "get over it" or "so what" comments from them; it's always (from what I can guess based on the entire comment and/or their alias) from westerners/expats.  

So...before I start getting slandered and receiving hate mail; I'm seriously curious about this phenomena.  What is it?   So...the comments I would like to receive on this are answers to my question as to why the westerners/expats, are the one's who are defensive and in some cases just rude?

Below are the 16 comments (these are all the comments received) on my video: Living in Saudi Arabia:  2 Weeks In.  Please Note the comment from SAUDIBIPASHA who stated:  Thank you for your beautiful feelings towards the My beautiful Saudi Arabia

Following is the link to the video comments page and the all of the actual comments submitted

http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=YuIrsTrOs0I&fromurl=/watch%3Fv%3DYuIrsTrOs0I%26feature%3Dchannel_page

All Comments (16 total)

ALMUHANNAD (4 weeks ago)

abaya looks kool on you

5 stars rate

wenarto (4 weeks ago) 

LOL - 5 stars, I love the black dress, I want one

nvmee8 (4 weeks ago) 

you are so funny!! lol!! that looks so good on you....i would love to go to any country and live like them for a year, you should try to learn arabic !! i cant wait to see the rest of your videos...by the way im watching all the way from cali baby!! haha take care and remember don't eat or drink with your left hand k..laaaaaaaaaaaaate

tlundberg (4 weeks ago) 

All the way from cali baby!! I love it...my home state. I'll be there for about 3 weeks in April...can't wait. And, yes...I plan to take some Arabic classes...but don't expect to hear me speaking it in the near future.

ahilsunnah (4 weeks ago) 

the black dress is a most for her in Saudi or she'll be arrested

tlundberg (3 weeks ago) 

Actually, that's not entirely true. I've seen numerous Western women in the malls without the Abaya on. I hear it's worst in Riyadh, but in Khobar...I see it quite regularly...western women not wearing the abaya. And, I myself, never cover my hair, even when I'm wearing the abaya.

agc3168 (3 weeks ago) 

May I suggest you shop for a "Jallabiyah". There's some really nice ones out there. I'm following your posts with lots of interest, and wish you a pleasant, memorable stay in Al-Khobar.

ahilsunnah (3 weeks ago) 

Well in Jeddah u will but not like Riyad dont evan think about it

ahilsunnah (3 weeks ago) 

well in jeddah u might be but in right or like some rural area u will be and evan might have a hearing with a Judge

h3mmod1990 (3 weeks ago) 

LOL that was very funny , ill subscribe to you , waitng for more !!!

BTW am from qatar next to saudi

akwah2002 (2 weeks ago)

lool ..... I sow your older post first, the one you were talking about moving in ..... I was like : now here is another foreigner (particularly American) who think she is going to a desert and expecting to find camels and oil wells every where.... Saudi Arabia is way more than that .... and I hope you have the time to discover for yourself welcome to Saudi Arabia .... I would pour you a small cup of Arabian coffee if I could :)

tlundberg (2 weeks ago) 

That was you making assumptions about me. And, BTW: in my 1st post NEVER stated that. But...don't act like this isn't the desert...because it is. It is a desert with houses, streets, stores, restaurants, airports, etc...but none the less...it's the desert. And, you know you can't even think about offering me coffee. =) You're on restriction. LOL

mhagrkorea (2 weeks ago) 

hhhhhh cool

akwah2002 (2 weeks ago) 

just like California :) .....( minus everything) loooool

well if you ever had the time to visit Riyadh you and your husband..... just give me a note .... you'll see what I can do.... :)

tlundberg (1 week ago) 

True that! Actually, when we drive around in some spots here it actually looks a lot like the western (inland) coast of Mexico.

I plan to visit Riyadh...I don't know when...but how can I not visit Riyadh at some point, just like I must go to Jeddah.

WHATZUP1400 (1 week ago) 

hay .. nice of you to show a good point of view about Saudi.. 

by the way.. i think you should go to Jeddah.. it's way cool than Riyadh..

both are nice places but Jeddah is better

oh.. i forgot.. wellcom to Saudi :))

SUBAHANNALLAH (2 weeks ago) 

Your soooo lucky!!

SMNOON (1 week ago) 

hey i'm from Saudi and i find you very interesting and funny would you like to be on saudi TV to tell your story ?? that would be awesome .waiting for your reply :)

SAUDIBIPASHA (1 week ago) 

Dear Madam 

Thank you for your beautiful feelings towards the My beautiful Saudi Arabia 

Believe me, the people of Saudi Arabia, a peaceful and good 

I admire your beautiful Madam

ss121ss121 (2 days ago) 

you are welcome in saudi arabia =)

Completely Floored

So...today...I find out that someone is slamming me and my blog on the company forum. I got pissed off and accused the wrong person, based on who told me about it. Which has caused further tension. Because of this I've been told they don't want to be affiliated or mentioned on my blog because of what this "anonymous" person wrote about me. I'm completely floored...this person wrote the post back in December, it's completely false, taken out of context (it's as if this person can not read and comprehend) and inflammatory and it was written before I even arrived in Saudi. I don't know what to do about it...or if I should do anything at all...all I know is that...the culture I'm getting used to...but this BS..has me ready to leave and not come back. Seriously. But...then that would make them the winner, and I'm a fighter...but right now...I'm pretty pissed about it. Why slam me on the company site...why not disagree with me on my post via the comments? This is someone who is so petty, and such a spiteful person that they are trying to affect our livelihood. It's shameful that the moderators would even allow this type of thing to occur. I'm so done.

How Quickly Things Change

OK.  So...after finally getting into our permanent housing, meaning they finally came out and hooked up the secondary phone line and the ADSL (I refused to move and not have internet access), and we're going to leave Dhahran for Ras Tanura (I like to call it Rasta), Roland get's a call (this past Wednesday) and it goes something like this..."we're moving you to the Boeing 737; you leave Friday for Dallas for training, you'll be there until March 12th".  WTF?  We just got in our house!!!  When the call came...the technicians were still in the house.  I was leaving to go back to Seattle and then San Diego...but my ticket was for me to leave March 2nd.  So...what?  I'm suppose to sit in this sandbox by myself for 3 weeks!!!  ARGH!!!!!!  It was kinda frustrating, as I was looking forward to getting my stuff out of boxes, and suit cases, etc.  We actually had a date that Wednesday to go to dinner and to the movies in Bahrain...but that quickly changed since now he has to start scrambling to leave in 2 days.  If you've never seen pilots train; it's insane the material they have to go through; as they should, our lives are literally in their hands.  So...after the shock was over with...and I discovered that for a mere $600 (double ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!) I could pull my ticket up to leave on Friday as well...I decided it was worth it.  We still have our home in Seattle so it isn't as if I don't have a place to stay.  The shock has now turned to excitement...and I'm out...I'm out for 2 months!!  My plane lands at SEA on Saturday at 4:10PM, just in time for happy hour (LOL); my GF is picking me up from the airport.  Now, I'm at the point to where I can hardly wait.  The "not so good news" is Roland will be in Dallas and I will be in Seattle on V-Day.  The good news is that I'm going to eat an organic valencia orange, and I'm going shopping.  Watch out Nordstroms...here I come!!  =)

So...I will be spending the rest of Feb and most of March in Seattle...then I head to San Diego (America's Finest City, IMO) to be with my son and my family.  

I won't be posting as much...but maybe I will share a mini-video on my hometown of San Diego. Or maybe, I'll just be spending too much time having fun. 

Later... 

Have Prayer Schedule Will Travel

When I first arrived in Saudi Arabia, Roland stopped at the Customer Care Center on the compound to pick up the new prayer schedule for 2009.  They asked me if I wanted one...I was like, "no, he has one...I won't need it"...she was like, "are you sure?", I was like, "yea...but if I'm wrong...I'll come back pick it up and admit I was wrong".  Well....it wasn't 3 days later before I was in there getting a prayer schedule; admitting I was wrong.  Why?  Because it is essential.  

A lot of stores do not open until late in the evening (after 5pm) due to the prayer times.  Also...stores will close, and you can not get in, during prayer time.  Oh Yea...and this happens 5 times a day!!!!!  Can you imagine?  Yea...well...I can; since I'm living here and I'm experiencing it.  For example, when I purchased my abaya...the sound went off to let us know I had 5 minutes before prayer time...hence, the store was closing in 5 minutes.  

Now...some stores...like IKEA will let you stay in the store...but you will not get any help and you can not check out until prayer time is over. 

It is natural to compare (yet makes your stay here more difficult to adjust to)...and it's especially hard when you compare the KSA to the US, because...when it comes to consumer convenience; it's just better in the US, it's convenient and efficient.  I can go to the store "when ever I want during store hours"; and when the cable guy tells me he's showing up between 2pm and 4pm; it's pretty much a guarantee (or the install is free).  So...you can imagine the adjustment to showing up at a store only to discover it is closed in the middle of the day.  It can be frustrating at first.  Now it's like..."ok...if we go now...we have 2 hours until the next prayer time...yea...we can make it."  LOL

Following is a picture of the prayer schedule that I keep in my wallet like cash and a credit card.

Shamal: My 1st Sandstorm

Today I experienced my 1st sandstorm.  These are called Shamal.  Shamals result from strong northwest winds that are funnelled into the Persian Gulf by the mountains of Turkey and Iraq to the northeast and the high plains of Saudi Arabia to the southwest.  And, just our luck...this was going on while we were in route to Ras Tanura.  But...it allowed me to get some good pictures.   

In the picture...what you're seeing in the air is sand (versus the blue sky).  There are 2 pictures taken of the same location 3 days apart so you can see the difference.  Also...in the video...that is sand you're hearing up against the car (this has to wreck havoc on the paint jobs).  BTW:  This has little or no real affect on the driving...they still drive crazy...even with the sand flying about.  

Bling Bling- Shopping 4 Gold

Before I moved to Saudi to be with my husband, every 10 weeks when he came home, he would have a few pieces of gold jewelry for me.  I could say, I'm tired of gold.  But... really... can you ever have too much gold?  Yesterday, for the first time since I'm been in the KSA I went shopping at the gold souqs.  One thing that's interesting...when you start video taping yourself as much as I have been for this journey...you learn about the bad habits you've picked up verbally.  So...I hope you think this video is Awesome (you will notice I say that waaaaaaaay too much - LOL)

Saudi Water 101

On the compounds (I can't speak for the rest of Saudi), there are 2 faucets at the kitchen sink...regular tap water, and what they call "sweet" water.  Both of these water sources are crap (IMO)...even though the sweet water has lower mineral levels, the regular water, which some people call silt water (it's salt water, desalinized...yea, right...I trust that process)...is heavy in minerals, leaves a film coating on your body, and can cause your hair to fall out (Ms. Mel...this is why I'm using bottle water to wash my face, hair, and to brush my teeth).  I have a filter on my shower head in the bathroom; but it's getting old...and I can not locate water filters here (just one more thing I have to bring back from the states). Some people have been known to try and re-route the water so that they can shower in so-called "sweet" water.  However, if you're caught doing this...it's a $1000US fine.  And, they actually do surprise inspections to try and catch offenders.  Or, as I would prefer to call them, "defenders" of their health.  

Between the lack of organic product, the pesticides they use on the produce (pesticides banned in the US), the water; this is why I'm going on a 14 day raw food, juice fasting detox, once a year...for every year that I'm living here.  And, what better place than Thailand. Hence the reason why I'm going back to Thailand, again.  Since of course, this is going to turn me into a complete crazy person (detoxing does this to you), and a grouchy bitch; I might as well be lying on the beach in Koh Samui, Thailand (which as some of the best beaches, and most of you know I've traveled to many beaches; hell I pretty much grew up on the beach) with a young thai coconut, and a $8.00US 1-hour massage.  

You can check out more here:  http://www.thesparesorts.net/

In defense of the smoker, but then again....

I've never really cared one way or the other about people smoking (I believe in a person right to destroy their own body to the best of their ability - LOL).  In fact...when several US cities started banning where people could smoke...I thought it was starting to get pretty ridiculous.  No smoking in the public park.  Huh!!!?  We're outside people, you're not affected by that persons cigarette smoke, you're affected more by the pollution in the air (which you can actually see in the air).  And, doesn't the cigarette smoker's taxes help keep that park clean, just like everyone else? The same with the bars.  If you're in a bar, in my opinion, you're not too concerned about your health, as you're drinking alcohol.  In Seattle, they even passed an ordinance which stated that smokers had to be 25 feet from the entrance of the bar or a business establishment...which is truly asinine considering this would put the person in the street, since most of the businesses are right next door to each other.  Also, they tax the hell out of cigarettes, for unrelated BS.   I can understand a restaurant...but an effing bar.  People really need to "get real".

This has been going on for a few years now.  So...I've completely forgotten about eh "cigarette smoke creep effect".

I'm one month, plus a few days into living in Saudi and you can smoke anywhere here, and I've completely forgotten how much that smoke gets into everything. Everything!!!  Every single time I come home from a party, I smell like cigarette smoke, my clothes, my hair; my jacket now has to go to the cleaners.  It's horrible.  

Let me point out...that I am not a cigarette smoker, and never have been.  But...for some reason still...I'm in defense of the smoker...even though...when I got home from Bahrain last night...all of my clothing stunk!!

Book Recommendation!!! "The Boleyn Inheritance"

I've always been a reader (I love to read)...and I don't have a full count...but by a good guess-tament...I could easily state that I have read literally thousands of books.  All kinds of books, fiction, non-fiction, easy sleazy, inspirational, self-help, etc., oh yea...and let's not forget the dreaded college textbooks.  Since I'm now an unemployed woman living in Saudi; I'm reading more than I have in a long time.

I have a strong interest in a specific time period of English history...that I can't seem to get enough of...probably because it is so deliciously scandalous.  So...when I come across a good piece of fiction, based on true historical events...it's a must read.  I just finished reading "The Boleyn Inheritance". I loved this book!!  And, if you're a fan of the show, "The Tudors" you will love this book.  If you're in Saudi...it is available in Jarir bookstore.  

Being a fan of the Tudors, I'm curious as to how they are going to turn the oh-so-hot Jonathan Rhys Meyers into the fat, disgusting, flatulent pig that King Henry VIII turns into.

This book gets 4 out of 5 stars.

Called to Apologize...

So...this person (see previous post) called today to say (1) that he is not racist, (2) he didn't mean anything by what he said, (3) that he thought (after knowing me a month) that we could "joke" like that, and (4) he'd like me to take the post down.  Oh Yea...and that I should watch what I put out on the internet...this is a small community, and people will judge me based on what I put out there etc. etc..

He stated that he didn't do what I was told via the 2nd hand story...so I will retract that...since as I mentioned...it was a 2nd hand story.  However, I stand by the remainder of what I posted, since it was stated directly to me, and I will not remove it.

This is the cliff notes version of the conversation since it was a conversation I didn't care to have.  I don't know one person who has made this type of comment, who didn't apologize once they're called out on it.  As if the words "I'm Sorry" is a cure all.

So...Yes...He did apologize...but really...I'm disappointed that this even had to go down like this...and he is responsible for it...yet...I'm left feeling bad because this person was suppose to be my husband's friend, and this has caused a riff in their friendship, and will probably no doubt have run over.  But...I will not apologize for being a Black person who will not accept "so-called" racial jokes...and for calling him out on his insensitive and immature behavior.