Growing Pains

While killing time on YouTube I came across this song from Mary J Blige's 2008 album. 2008 is when I moved here and I was playing the hell out of this CD. I was really identifying with it at the time. Then today, it occurred to me that this CD is titled Growing Pains. Maybe that is why I was feeling it so much since I was going through growing pains of my own. Especially since my husband and I were having re-entry issues. LOL. Re-entry issues arise when a couple has been living apart for a significant amount of time and now they're living together again. And, in my case, we were "living together again" in Saudi. So, I was dealing with Culture Shock and Re-Entry. Gawd!!! Whew...I am so freakin' glad that is so far behind me. This is one of my favorite songs on this CD, even though the whole CD is a put-in-and-play.

Enjoy!!

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

A few days back it occurred to me that I have been writing in this blog for over two years. Two years!! My first post was on September 7, 2008. Time flies when you're having fun...or as I also like to say, "Time flies when you're getting old." LOL.

Today I decided to go back and read my very first post. I wrote two posts in September. Nothing really interesting, but, it shows my anxiety and my curiosity. It seems as if my biggest worry was, where I was going to get my hair done and who was going to do it. Hehehehehehe But, this is a serious concern. Black women, we take are hair seriously. LOL If you didn't know, you betta ask somebody , we don't play around with our hair. Now you can find some Black women who have given up on personal appearance and are not too concerned with their hair, but for most of us, it's a top priority. Well...getting my hair done hasn't been too much of an issue, even though I wish I had more options and a better quality of talent when it comes to Black hair care.

My other deal was my plan to make a documentary about my first year in Saudi Arabia. My intentions there hasn't changed too much. I have a lot of footage. However, I'm tentative about how "real" I can/wanna get while I'm still living in the Magic Kingdom, so I'm letting that marinate for a minute.

In the beginning I had some real haters coming to my sight. For example, there was a biotch who was calling herself Jackie who actually wished I would have a "difficult" time with my adjustment to living in Saudi. Well, Biotch, if you're still reading, I'm doing fine, all is good, and I'm living a good life, so take that, take that, take that, take that!!

What I found quite surprising during this past two years is that the Saudi's who were reading my blog, were the most welcoming. So much for stereotypes.

It was just over two years ago that I gave my employer notice of my intent to terminate my employment to join my husband on a totally unexpected adventure, and you know what...I don't regret it for one moment.

Taxi Cab Confessions:

I was riding down the Jubail highway, with my headphones blasting "Imma Be" from the Black Eyed Peas, zoning out, when it occurred to me that I spend a lot of time in taxis. Coming from Southern California car culture, I thought I would die (well not really) if I couldn't drive. Now...I don't give it a 2nd thought. I even have the confidence to tell off the drivers when I don't appreciate what they're doing. I discovered this one night while sharing a taxi with a Saudi friend when the taxi driver stopped at 11 at night at a gas station on the side of the Jubail highway with a half a tank of gas. She went off. She immediately started with,

"Why are you stopping?"

"You have enough gas."

''Fill up on your own time."

"This is not safe with two females in the car. We don't have our Abayas."

"No. Leave now."

My first thought was; wow. I didn't know I could do that. Then my next thought was, "Yea! WTF is he doing stopping when he can get gas on his time. He got us out here at night at this somewhat secluded (although next to the highway) gas station." LOL. He got the message and got us out of there and got us home.

So....now, I don't take any mess off of these guys. Hell, my life is in their hands every time I get in the car with them. About 6 months ago, I had a driver who was so reckless in his tailgating that I finally had to call the company on his ass. I kept telling him to back up off these cars that I "wasn't trying to die up on this highway." But, he persisted. So, while I was still in the car with him, I called their offices and let them know to NEVER send this guy to my home again, that he is driving recklessly. As soon as I pressed the off button on my cell, the driver's cell was ringing. And, it's amazing how when a man told his ass to "act right" that he discovered he could drive with some damn sense. Gawd!!

Oh Yea...and then I had one that I swear had to be on something. He was by far the worst. His speed would fluctuate from 70km - 140km, he kept drifting into other lanes, and he acted as if he didn't want to stop when he got to the guard gate. The security guard even had to tell his ass "You stop when you come to this gate!" When I got to my house, I went off on him, threw the money in the seat and jumped out of the car.

But, on this day (the day I discovered I'm in taxis a lot) I was headed to Bahrain and I had the perfect driver (and I've had quite a few). He was friendly, but not too chatty (I can't understand half of what they're saying anyway. Most of these drivers are Indian), didn't drive too slow, but didn't drive too fast, and wasn't intimidated (drove with confidence) by all the crap happening on the Jubail highway. See...the deal is, driving on this highway is like going through a gauntlet. The way they drive here is like nothing I've ever seen. You really have to be on it, and have a dash of luck to survive this highway.

I could go on and on. One time we (a group of 4 chicks) had a driver who when we got to the Saudi Arabia/Bahrain border, he forgot the paperwork he needed to leave Saudi Arabia, so we had to wait while another driver came. Gawd!!!

Even though I'm over not being able to drive, I have to say, there is nothing like being able to drive yourself.

We Be Saudi Mobbin'

Ohmigoodness...I came across this on FB. This is a chick who lives in Dhahran on the Aramco Compound. It's cute, funny, and I'm loving it. And, I actually know what she's talking about. Thank U SharStar for sharing your song with us.

I'm even posting this while I'm still on vacay, that's how much I wanted to put it out there.

Enjoy!!

Out of the Sand Pit...Again.

Yea...I know. It seems as if I'm always going on vacation. But, hey...what can I do if whenever my husband has vacation time, he wants to get out of the Kingdom? One of the perks of living here is the number of vacation days we get, which are a far cry from the 3 weeks we got in the States. So, I'm not complaining. Though I will tell you, when we got back from our last stay in Stockholm in early July, and I started planning this vacation, I was like, "Damn, we just got back!! And, now we have to decide where we want to go in September. Argh!!!!" So...not complaining, but semi-whining.

Unlike our previous vacations, we didn't have a clue as to where we were going to go in September. A decision had to be made. It isn't as if airfare gets cheaper the longer you wait. We changed our minds a few times on this one. First it was Greece, then it was a Med cruise. We finally decided that Europe was the way to go. It's easy and we wouldn't experience any jet lag. Seven cities were in contention. After much research (mostly based on price, with more expensive cities like London getting reluctantly dumped) we narrowed it down to four cities: Amsterdam, Brugge, Brussels, and Stockholm. Now that we're about to leave, I'm really excited and looking forward to going. All of my "damn I gotta plan another vacation" semi-whining has gone out the window, and I can't freakin' wait until I'm sitting in Amsterdam, sipping on an espresso before I get on a bike to explore the countryside. Or, to hanging out in a fabulous lounge in Stockholm. And, most of all, I'm looking forward to walking the streets unhampered, and unencumbered.

So...this means, I will probably not post on this site until I get back in about 4 weeks. However, if you're just dying to know how I'm doing (I'm being facetious) check out my Black Chick on Tour blog. This time I'm going to attempt to keep a daily diary. These types of intentions always start out good, until I've been late partying and am now hanging over the next day. LOL But, I'm gonna try.

Talking About "The Help"

The other day I was walking through the house talking sh*t to Roland about my househelper and how I feel this guy is just being lazy. He does the least amount possible, and I have to keep telling him, no...finish it all the way out. The latest thing was this:

I wasn't home last Thursday when he came, so I left the list of what he was to do with my husband. One of his regular task is to fold up all the items (clothes, towels, sheets, etc.) I washed the day before. That way all I have to do is put them up. Well...I come home and see the Bath Sheets (these bath towels are huge) only folded in half. In half!! I mean, how much more energy does it take to fold it down so that I can put it in the cabinet? So, what? Now I have to fold it down to get in in the cabinet, when that is what I pay him to do? When he first started folding the clothes, he did it correctly without my asking. Now I gotta "say something" about these towels, and this is the kinda thing pisses me off. Which is why I don't manage people. Twice I've had jobs in which I've had to supervise/manage people. And, I will just say, I have no patience for it. Hell, you wanted the job, I didn't drag you off the street and force you to work. Whew!! Anyway... So...I left them there for the entire week. LOL.

Today he shows up, and I show him the towels that I left there. And, I ask him, can I put this in my cabinet? he smiles and says, "Yes." I take him to the cabinet and ask him, "where am I to put this towel?". He's still smiling, I'm not. Then I take him back to the room and as I fold the towel all the way down I tell him "this is how I want them folded every-single-time." Now he's all apologetic. Huh? What? He knew that it wasn't right when he left them like that, now it's "I'm sorry." Gawd!!

The thing is...I started this post with how I was walking through the house talking sh*t about our househelper. Well...as I was doing it, I kinda stepped outside myself for a brief moment, and I realized I was talking mess, "about the help" and I couldn't help but to start laughing. I mean really...that is totally uppity. Two years ago I was cleaning my own house and hating pretty much every minute of it, and here I am today talking about the help, almost with the back of my hand on my forehead complaining "ohmigod, good help is so hard to find" and full of drama. LMAO. Oh-mi-goodness.

Flashback: The Early Days

I was just checking out some of my old blog posts and all I can say is, what a difference a 20 months can make. LOL!! I can laugh now, but them, whew....

The posts from 2008 are about me preparing to move here, my apprehensions and my excitement for a new adventure. At the end of 2008 (December 28th) I made a video of me waiting for my driver to take me to the airport, and 20 hours later my arrival in Saudi Arabia. Then 2009 hits and my new adventure has filled me with irritation and a bad case (for me) of culture shock. Most of my posts in those early days were mostly of me b*tchin' and whinin' about what they didn't have, what I couldn't do, and why the eff did I come here, etc. etc.

A person who is now a friend of mine told me how she saw me when I first got here at the commissary in Dhahran (where we lived when I first got here) and she was gonna come up to me and introduce herself, but then I turned around and she saw the look on my face. I had this look that made her stop in her tracks. She thought, "okay, she looks angry and irritated," so she decided not to dare coming over to speak to me. :( And, if you've read those earlier posts; I was angry and irritated, for a variety of reasons. LMAO. What a difference a year makes. What a difference it makes once you get into the groove of the environment, start to meet new people who eventually become friends, and you get out of your self imposed shell.

All I can say is, I'm so glad I'm far from where I was at then. I can laugh now, but I have no problems admitting to you I was doing some crying then. Gawd!!

If you want to check out those posts from my first days, you can start here: January 2009

My Fasting...

...pretty much turned into nonevent.

I decided to fast yesterday. I had a few people ask me "why?" It wasn't for any particular reason other than I wanted to try it. When my husband told one of his coworkers I was gonna fast he asked, "Why? Is she fat?" Can you believe this guy? I thought it was kinda funny. Maybe that's because I'm not fat (even though at times I feel fat LOL). But, what if I were?

The night before my fast, I was up until almost midnight eating. When I awoke the following morning (at 8:45a.m.) I reached over and took a couple of sips of water because my mouth was dry. But, after that...I had nothing else. No food, no water, until 6:30p.m.

Throughout the day, I video taped how I was feeling. At 11 something, I talked about how I wasn't feeling much stress, but was looking forward to being terribly hungry and irritated around 4-ish. Then at about 2 something I mentioned how I keep thinking to go to the kitchen and grab some food, and then I'd remember I was fasting. Oh Yea, and that my stomach growled for the first time that day. Then the next thing I knew it was 3:45p.m., and I had to get up and get it together to meet friends in Khobar for an Iftar Buffet. Iftar refers to the evening meal when Muslims break their fast during the Islamic month of Ramadan. Iftar is one of the religious observances of Ramadan and is often done as a community, with people gathering to break their fast together. Iftar is done right after Maghrib (sunset) time.

To the disappointment of my friends, when I arrived at the buffet I wasn't angry, irritated, or even ravenous. I had one mention that I should affect some type of drama. LOL. Nope, no drama. I showed up at LeMeridien, hungry, but not ravenous. During the meal I didn't eat any more than I normally would have for dinner. The whole experience was "all good.". In fact, I'm thinking about fasting one day out of the week just for the hell of it.

I've decided not to post the video because there wasn't enough substance, basically it was boring. There wasn't any "my stomach is paining me soooooo bad" moments.

A Special Thank U!! to Nadia for arranging the buffet. It was a new experience for me; one that I enjoyed.

Peace!!

Ramadan-A-Ding-Dong

Ding-Dong!!! That's right, it's that time of year again; Ramadan is knocking at the door.

Tonight at sunset will mark the beginning of Ramadan in Saudi Arabia. This really doesn't mean much for me. There will be slight inconveniences, but nothing major. The upside is during the day time, the streets will be clear and free of traffic, the downside is the Cafe on camp has limited hours. So, you can see, I'm not affected much.

For those not in the know, Ramadan is one of the five pillars of Islam. During this time Muslims are supposed to abstain from all those things that are forbidden during the fasting from the break of dawn to the sunset. Fasting is obligatory for all Muslims, with a few exceptions, during the month of Ramadan. I've also read that during this fasting period you're not supposed to have sex, show bad temper, or show off one's fasting by talking too much about it. The fasting person must be a pleasant person with good spirits and good cheer. I think that's a lot to ask of someone who's hungry. LOL

I've decided I'm going to go a day without eating, just to see what it's like. I fully expect to not be in good cheer, but I will try. I'm going to undertake this on Sunday the 16th. After which I will break my fast with friends at an Iftar Buffet in Khobar. These will both be new experiences for me. I know when I've tried to go a whole day on a Raw Food diet, by the time 4:00PM comes around I'm feeling homicidal. So, we'll see how I do.

If you'd like more information on Ramadan and Fasting, check out this link a friend sent me: Ramadan Fasting: Meaning and Rules

So...if you wanna know how it all worked out for me, check back on the 17th or 18th of August, and I should have updated my blog by then.

Ramadan Kareem!!

Another Day....

Well...it's another day in Saudi Arabia. And, yes, it's hot. I've been in the house a lot lately, and it's bugging the sh*t out of me. When I was in Stockholm, I walked miles, all day, almost every day. I loved it!! I guess I could get out in the evening, but I don't like walking once it's dark, even with the street lights. Okay. I'll admit it, I'm afraid of night time critters. A few nights back we were out walking, it's like 8:00p.m. and I see these big a** moths flying around every other street light. They're flying all low and scaring the mess out of me. Roland is laughing at me as I'm cringing each time we walk past a light that has one flying around it. And, don't let there be two or three flying around. It's pretty pathetic really. But, hey, I'm not used to critters. It took me over a year to get over the Gecko's. I could go in the mornings, but, I typically don't get up until about 10:00a.m. By the time I get up, wake up, and get get it together, it's too dang hot to be outside. IDK...I think I'm making excuses. LOL

So...anyway...what else has been going on?

I'm planning my next vacation. I've been doing so much research it's bordering on city "stalking". It's going to be wonderful. Three days in Amsterdam, two days in Brugge, one day in Brussels, and 14 days in Stockholm. Amsterdam is gonna be freakin' awesome. I have us taking bike tours, going out into the countryside, I've located an organic pastry shop that's suppose to be the sh*t, a vintage clothing shop I've read about that I'm hoping to find a fabulous dress at, and there's a performing arts festival happening while we're there. So, I have high expectations for fun. I hope I'm not disappointed.

What else?

Still taking the photography and writing courses. I have 3 more weeks on this writing course, and I swear I'll be glad when it's done. I'll have a little break before I pick up the next one in the fall.

Oh Yea...I have something I'm thinking about doing. Ramadan is coming up in a few weeks. I'm thinking I'm gonna try and go a whole day, from sun up to sun set without eating. Maybe video tape my lapse into hunger and irritation? That could be interesting. Some people may think, "wow. a day without eating." But, I think it's hard. IDK. I'm gonna let that idea marinate.

Anyway...until next time.

Peace!

Being Fair to Saudi Arabia?

OK...So...I'm gonna address this question. It seems I keep getting it about 10% of the time when I get questions from people online. The last person posted to my BCIS FB page the following: am an american born from saudi parents, don't you think you were a bit unfair describing saudi.

Gawd! Give me a break. The thing is this, I'm writing about my experience the way that I experience it. That's fair. I've admitted on numerous occasions that I have limited experience in interacting with the "Saudi" culture, but I can say without a doubt, as a female I do experience the Saudi culture. The fact that I have to wear the Abaya (when it's over 100 degrees outside), with a scarf on deck and ready, just in case, means I'm experiencing Saudi culture. When I have to hire a driver because I can not get into my car and drive to my friends house on another compound, I'm experiencing another aspect of what is Saudi culture. So, again, I'm being fair.

On the other hand. Would I like to go to a Saudi wedding? Hell ya! That would be cool. Would I like to sit down and talk to other Saudi women in their environment? That would be cool as well. But, you have to admit, it's hard to make that happen. In fact, you can't make that happen, only they can. Saudi people are private people. I know Westerners who have lived and worked in the Kingdom for years, and have never had these experiences. I live on a compound, and I don't work. So...

I realize that there are some people who, for whatever reason, cannot stomach something they like or love not being perfect. This must make these people hard to live with. I'm an American and proud to be an American. And, the more I travel the more I realize America is not a bad country to have won the "birth location" lotto. I could have come out out wallowing in poverty in some Third World cesspool. Yet, there are a lot of things I'm pretty pissed off about that the United States is doing right now. I'm more than irritated that we're still in effing Afghanistan and Iraq. WTF!!!!! are we still doing there? I hate that the banks and huge corporations pretty much run the country, I hate our 2-party political system. Yet and still, I'm glad to be an American. And, that is part of what being an American is all about, being able to express our dissatisfaction (until they rescind that right).

I think it's natural to want to defend what you consider your own without looking at the facts. But, that is just being emotional, and lacking in sound judgement.

2 Damn Hot!!

Ohmigod!! I've always been one who doesn't mind the heat. When people are complaining about the heat, I'm loving it, and wondering what in the hell their problem is. Well, for about the past 5 days, it has been so hot, it has surpassed my level of endurance. I thought I was hard core, going to Vegas in July and August, I've done Arizona in the summer, and I love sitting out in the Saudi sun. But, this heat has got me beat. For about the past week, it's been 108 and up during the day, with 100% humidity, and in the low 90's in the evening. It's horrible. It's as if this is a warning for August, the heat is laughing at us saying, "you ain't seen nothing yet."

Reading, Writing, and Movies

There is grand disappointment in reading a great book and then watching the movie.

A few days back I finished reading Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. This Pulitzer Prize winning book was recommended in both my travel writing course and again in my memoir writing course.

This book comes alive from the very first page. By the time I was on page 20 I felt as if I've gone through an emotional wringer, and yet I have over 300 pages to go. The descriptions painted the scenes perfectly in my mind, the depth he gave the characters made me feel as if I personally knew every single one of them.

Then you get the movie. The movie version is a hollow shell of what book is. The best way I can describe it is like when those people who think that having their dead dog stuffed will make them feel as if the animal is still there with them. It's like the Cliff Notes version. You get the gist of the story, but not the nuances, depth, or insight.

Early into this movie I knew it would be a disappointment but I continued watching it anyway. And, my feelings didn't change at the end of the movie; it was a disappointment.

Because I watched this movie so soon after reading the book, I was able to see and feel what good writing will do to a person in comparison to a movie. A screenplay is really about dialogue, and the visuals come from what we see on the screen. But a great book will paint a picture and take your mind to places of such depth, that a movie can only dream. This helped me to see what I need to learn, to develop, in order to make my writing better, to make readers see the story as I intend. This book is good story telling at it's finest, and I could only hope to be a quarter, if that, of what this man accomplished in this book.

Anyway...it goes without saying that I'm recommending the book Angela's Ashes.

Just a regular day in the neighborhood

Today was just another regular day in the neighborhood. I got caught up on my assignments for the writing course I'm taking. Yes!! That feels good. Now, I can plan and work on what's due next week. I love this, because I'm forced to be creative on a regular basis, helping to develop discipline and good writing habits. Gawd. At least I hope that's what will happen. Time will tell. I've read from experienced writers that the hardest thing is just sitting down and writing. I know for myself, as long as I keep doing it I'm good. But, if I relax for too long, the longer it takes me to get started again.

I cleaned house, somewhat, I mean, I didn't do much since my househelper was here today. That prompts me to have to do stuff, since I only having him do the stuff that I don't want to do. For example, I have him fold up all the clothes that I've spend that past 2 days washing. I don't like for other people to wash my clothes. The thing is, I take all my under garments out, and put them up myself. IDK, but I think it's kinda weird to have some dude handling my bras and panties. I wonder if other people who have help feel the same way. What was kinda cool though and a first time experience for me was that I had him unpack our luggage from our last trip. A friend gave me this idea. And, I was like, huuuuum...maaaaaybe..... So, here I was almost a week after our trip, and my bags still were laying on the floor, with clothes still in them so.. I was like yep, add it to the list. It was awesome!

Anyway...I updated my travel blog with a cool restaurant review on a Jamaican Restaurant in Stockholm that a friend of my husband owns. You can check it out here: Back A Yard

Peace!!

I'm Back!! And, Here's 2 Catching Up....

Hey Y'all!!

Some of you may ask, "where in the heck did she go?" Actually I did go somewhere. But what I'm referring to is my blog going offline for the masses. Well, it's back live and in living color. LOL. I took it offline for a few weeks, for reasons I will not mention here. During that time, I went to Stockholm, Sweden for a week. Love, Love, Love Stockholm. I lived there for a brief period from '99 - '00, and when I left, I wasn't ready to leave. This time, 10 years later, when it was time to go, I wasn't ready to leave.

We spent most of our time visiting old friends and family. I played tourist, which isnt' hard to do in Stockholm since history is right at your feet. If you wanna check out my Swedish Adventures, you can check them out at the links below. These are the prelim's. I have more photos, restaurant reviews, etc. coming down the road as well.

Gamla Stan - Stockholm's Old Town

Stockholm Walking Tour 1

Oh Yea! I've had a few other things happen while I was offline that I'd like to share:

*My restaurant review on Mama Testa, a mexican restaurant in San Diego, was picked up by a new magazine out of Bahrain and will be featured in their Food & Travel section. I will post that as soon as I get my copies. So, that's kinda cool.

*I wrote an advice article for Expat Arrivals titled, Women in Saudi Arabia, and have become one of their "local experts" for Saudi Arabia. That's also cool as well.

My travel writing course ended 2 weeks ago, but my Memoir writing course started 3 weeks ago, so I'm still busy writing, writing, writing. I'm taking the courses to make me accountable. This way I have to write something and turn in on a weekly basis, and I'm learning a lot, honing my writing skills, and I must say, I'm having fun with it.

I think this brings you up to date.

Peace!!